Posts filed under: ‘love, relationships‘
Summary of 2008 pg.4
Things are good, I committed my body, soul, mind, heart and everything to him, he was good to me in every way. People in our community knew about us, and boy they love to gossip! He took me around his friends, elders and others reffered to me as his wife, boy I loved that. The relationship began to seem so normal to me, although it was crazy, I excepted it! Why? I don’t know, maybe because I loved him too much to let go! He use to tell me that, he will never leave me, he wants to be with me forever, one day he says ” don’t you know you are the Jr. wife, and she is the Sr. wife, she was there first, and u should respect her” he then began to make me try understand that it’s ok to be his second wife because his father did it and that he comes from a polygamist background and the women did not fight! He use to tell me that he was the best thing that has ever happen to me and I won’t ever find a man like him. I began to believe it, sadly it’s true, everytime I needed something, no matter what it is, I go to him to get it. He ask me, well more like told me to be submissive to him. Somehow I wasn’t liking the sound of it, but at times I found myself doing just that. He was so dramatic at times, once I told him to shut up and he acted like he was having a heart attack, it was so funny! He always tried to tell me to respect him, submitt, damn it was like he wanted to control me. He thought he can demand any and everything from me, but didn’t want me to ask him something as simple as “who’s calling you”. I became very dependant on him he was the head of my house even though he didn’t live there. I got more attatched because he loved me back, knowing that he loved me caused me to feel so good. I knew what we had was real. We created a soul joining and each time we were together, the bond became stronger! I could feel it in his body and see it in his eyes. At times I drove his ass crazy! I played jealousy games at times, if he find out I just said hi to a guy that he knows, he would go and make sure the guy knows that I’m his and do his best to make the guy stay away, even if he had to use a messenger! The parties really got to him, I would make sure I had a new dress and looked beautiful each time. Due to the Sr. wife being there he had to sit and watch guys go wild for his woman, he would always make up some reason why I should stay home. He really wanted me to stay home after “she” and I kept arguing at the parties. I couldn’t stand her old ass, I would be sitting there minding my own business and she would walk pass me and make a sound, then look back at me to frown her face! She would try so hard to make it look like they were so happy. She would intentionally force him to dance and while his back is turned she would make jestures with her mouth. She look so stupid everyone knew that her husband has another wife, but she continued to act silly, pointing at me pulling out her chair in a dramatic way then look at me and sit down close to him! So we are both on the dance floor she says slut with her mouth, I said well he seems to love sluts, I’m not too much of a slut ask him where he was lastnight! She turns to him wanting to know, he is just sitting there once again just trying to make us be quiet. That old hag got on my nervs, she wasn’t smart enough to realize that she was embarrasing the hell out of us, including herself! That same event I showed off my ring flashing it in her face, she got so mad, she sits up in her chair turns toward him in anger saying “oh so you bought her a ring”. I eventually left before things got worse. He calls the next day wanting to know what happen she lies and tell him I started it, he was fussing and upset saying ” why can’t you two stop acting like little kids, why can’t you just ignore her, don’t you know you guys are just sitting there entertaining all those nosey people, ignore her,you sit there let her make you mad and start telling all our business. Don’t you know that’s what she want you to do, I don’t like people in my business” so he fussing at me I’m yelling at him. He started to pretend he had her under controll and that she won’t ever say a word again so I say ok cool, I won’t either. He got on my nerves because he listen to her lying ass trying to play innocent, but sooner or later she and I learned to ignore each other at the parties! He took me on a emotional roller coaster during 2008 and it only got worse. We could not ever seem to let go, I loved him and he loved me. I did some things and he wasn’t perfect, but we always came back to each other! He said I must of whipped him, and he didn’t understand why he was so crazy about me. I loved when we were together, men have a way of making a simple touch so amazing. The end of the year is near and he and I are eating at Coaches, 11-3-08, we are sitting there talking, he is basically trying to make me change and be good he calls it. So he looks at me and asks me ” can you forgive me for anything that I may do” my answer was no! He didn’t like that at all, he tells me “she” loves him and can forgive him for anything. I looked at him and wanted to slap his ass out of his seat. He made me think he did something, and he probably did, but I never found out. November 18th he and I made sweet love, by the 21st I was praying to God and ready to leave town! It’s December and 2009 is on it’s way! Not too much more went on in 2008, or did it? Stay tuned for my next post!
Add a comment July 27, 2010
That next moring pg.2
The next morning, my wondering mind gave him a call, we began to have small talk. At that time I had been dating someone else for about six months, but he lived two hours away. I stayed strong and denied him for a few months, and letting him know that I don’t have time for a married man or any dramma, but in the process of denying him, I was still going out to lunch with him and talking to him all the time. We talked three times or more each day. He would bring me money and food to my job he would drop everything to see me. One night I decided to give into his request, but he didn’t take me serious, so he never showed. It was 2-8-07 Thursday night the first time I gave in and we got romantic!!!! I was so ashamed, I knew at that moment my relationship with God had been ruiend!! I went to work the next day so distrought my friend knew something was wrong when she asked me I just began to cry! So in order to not feel like a whore or one night stand I allowed it to continue and from then on he was stuck to me like glue. Around April 07 I stop working, and that provided so much time for him and I. I mean seriously, I would wake up and be ready and waiting because I knew he would come pick me up by 11:00am. Things moved so fast, we got too serious. He wanted me to commit to him and I wanted to be with only him. We began to grow on each other. Love had built some very high wall around us. I don’t know how a baby came into the topic, but he began to talk about it by March. Sometimes I read my diary and see where I was pleading with myself to leave him alone, telling myself I am worth more and that he is a devil just trying to use me, I prayed over and over not even realizing I was already pulled in. “She” and I had no contact with each other at that time so he and I were living the life! I got to a point where I found myself wanting a baby! He and I actually began planning to have a child, but the thing, the crazy little thing with him is that he actually thought I would hide the pregnancy. He only had one daughter at the time and was dying for more kids, but truly assumed no one would know about the baby. I let him know up front that he must be out his damn mind and that I wasn’t going to hide anything, he can do what he wants, but I wasn’t feeling it. I guess he didn’t mind because we continued to have a baby. I was so gone in the head I actually found myself sad because I wasn’t getting pregnant fast enough. I thought I couldn’t have kids. It had been a while, my son was six and my daughter was five, yea right by June I was pregnant with his son!
Add a comment July 26, 2010
Chp. 1 How we met.
Well, It was the New Years Eve night I was 25yrs old. At that time he was 52. A friend and I went to a party 12/31/06. I knew of him due to our community and we have greeted each other a couple of times at other events, but nothing more, he paid me no mind! I have always thought that he was a very nice looking guy, he has nice teeth and a smile to die for. That night he happen to be there without “her” and I happen to be 30pds lighter. He noticed me watching him and I noticed him watching me ( I remember him saying he just couldn’t pass up my tall legs and that I was on fire that night ). I was dancing with a guy I knew, and here he comes up to us interrupting the dance and tells my friend that I am his woman and to stay away, I guess he was trying to scare him away, it was really funny, but I loved hearing him say it, that’s when things begin to heat up. We continued to talk to each other every chance we got. I was so excited to have his attention, I wanted to take advantage of being able to flirt with him, and nothing more. It felt good to be smaller and it felt good to have such a nice looking older man after me the whole night. I honestly didn’t think it would go pass having a little fun for that moment, but I saw him in a corner and I got very close and intamatly kissed in his ear whispering to him how good he looked. He told me that he wish he could go with me, but he has his daughter so he can’t get away. We met outside and he gave me his number, insisting that I call him that next morning. My dear friend, she told me to throw away the number, but I refused!! At that very moment, is when my life took a change, I was transformed as a person and became whatever he wanted me to be, a polygamist, mistress, Jr. wife and more. This is my story!!! I will continue my story as often as I can, pls enjoy!
1 comment July 26, 2010
