That next moring pg.2

The next morning, my wondering mind gave him a call, we began to have small talk. At that time I had been dating someone else for about six months, but he lived two hours away. I stayed strong and denied him for a few months, and letting him know that I don’t have time for a married man or any dramma, but in the process of denying him, I was still going out to lunch with him and talking to him all the time. We talked three times or more each day. He would bring me money and food to my job he would drop everything to see me. One night I decided to give into his request, but he didn’t take me serious, so he never showed. It was 2-8-07 Thursday night the first time I gave in and we got romantic!!!! I was so ashamed, I knew at that moment my relationship with God had been ruiend!! I went to work the next day so distrought my friend knew something was wrong when she asked me I just began to cry! So in order to not feel like a whore or one night stand I allowed it to continue and from then on he was stuck to me like glue. Around April 07 I stop working, and that provided so much time for him and I. I mean seriously, I would wake up and be ready and waiting because I knew he would come pick me up by 11:00am. Things moved so fast, we got too serious. He wanted me to commit to him and I wanted to be with only him. We began to grow on each other. Love had built some very high wall around us. I don’t know how a baby came into the topic, but he began to talk about it by March. Sometimes I read my diary and see where I was pleading with myself to leave him alone, telling myself I am worth more and that he is a devil just trying to use me, I prayed over and over not even realizing I was already pulled in. “She” and I had no contact with each other at that time so he and I were living the life! I got to a point where I found myself wanting a baby! He and I actually began planning to have a child, but the thing, the crazy little thing with him is that he actually thought I would hide the pregnancy. He only had one daughter at the time and was dying for more kids, but truly assumed no one would know about the baby. I let him know up front that he must be out his damn mind and that I wasn’t going to hide anything, he can do what he wants, but I wasn’t feeling it. I guess he didn’t mind because we continued to have a baby. I was so gone in the head I actually found myself sad because I wasn’t getting pregnant fast enough. I thought I couldn’t have kids. It had been a while, my son was six and my daughter was five, yea right by June I was pregnant with his son!

Add a comment July 26, 2010